Wal-Mart v. my own distruction

This can’t be too hard.

Right angles, only a few screws, and directions with pictures. This screw goes here. I think.

Oops.
That’s backwards.
I’ll just pull it out with scissors.

FUCK! Ouch. God damn piece of…shit. I’m bleeding. Better get a band-aide. FUCK! No band-aides. Paper towel and tape will have to do. Maybe I should use a screwdriver instead. It’s not as sharp.

Oops. Breaking the wood probably isn’t good. Hmmm. Plywood. I’ll just use some wood glue. And duct tape…

and wa-la. Good as new.

That wasn’t too hard. It looks nice. I like figuring things out on my own. Who needs directions???

All my books fit nicely.

going to your funeral

These are some things to do when no one's around

(arranged in no particular order):

1- walk around naked.
2- Eat ice cream (or sherbet if you’re lactose intolerant)
3- Talk to the cat
4- Masturbate
5- Write about being alone
6- Listen to music
7- go to bed early
8- watch clips on youtube.com
9- pick your nose
10- go to a funeral

Here’s to you Vicki Day! May you never be alone again!

10/20/06 at lip gloss

Back in school you ever get busted for trying to walk and have some administrator tell you "Son you can struck your obligations and try to be different from your peers but responsibility of future is gonna find you!”

Well…

Responsibility has caught up to me. On October 20th I will be responsible for making sure everyone at lip gloss is having a booty shakin’ good time.

Your responsibility is to help me with a play list!

Any requests???

Willie's got it figured out!

A few weeks ago Willie Nelson got caught with a pound and a half of weed and 0.2 of mushrooms. This is what he had to say for himself:

"At least I got caught with a bag of weed. If it had been spinach I'd be dead by now!"