lip gloss is only for girls who wear skirts

What happened to love? Why don't I know what it is anymore? Wittgenstien once asked how can we love someone one minute and then feel completely different about them the next? What a great question. But what does a philosoper know about love anyway? Wittgenstien fell "in love" with some Swiss girl who hated philosophy. She decided not to marry him because he spent all his time praying and meditating. And later he fell "in love" again with one of his grad students named Ben Richards. Ben was a mere fourty years younger than him, but they lasted until Wittgenstien died. Nowadays he'd be called "metrosexual"? I don't know really what that means.

Why am I so shy? Possible because deep down inside I am a hopless romantic. Why am I even talking about all this? Well last night a cute boy walked me home about 25 blocks! But nothing even happened...no smooching, just a little flirting. It was very inocent, but I feel very different today than I did yesterday. Maybe that's because today I am 25 and yesterday I was only 24. It probably doesn't make that much of a difference. I am glad he walked me home though...it was a good night.

I love my buddies...that I know for sure. They made my birthday the best ever! EVER! Matson Jones rocks my world, and Anne is a HOTTIE!!!!!!!!!! If I had a camera or if I knew how to make my blog more than just words, I would have some pictures. But I am working on that.

"You and me and the devil makes three"

It is a BEAUTIFUL day to be 25!!!!!!

My friend Sasha and I at breakfast at watercourse this AM (yum in my tum). I miss her already. She made me a bright yellow scarf and I love it! I have a new best friend...Spy. He (or she) deverginized me as a blogger. THANKS spy, I did a victory dance on my dance floor.

How to eat a veggie burger with chop sticks:

All my life I have hated the idea of labels. "Don't label me! You don't know me! A label only limits who I am! So don't label me!" But, inevitably everyone has labels placed on them. When I was in high school, I was "Phil's little sister." Phil is my much cooler older brother. Then for a period I was a "Christian," and then a "punk" and then a "skater punk" and then a "straight edge skater punk." Luckily, I realized last night that I am not punk...I'm really just a big nerd. And I have been trying to denie this fact, but now I am beggining to embrace it. There are several things that qualify me as a nerd:

1) I was a member of the chess team in high school. I was also a participant in the international science fair.
2) If I wear my pants at my natural waiste line people ask me "where's the flood?"
3) I find other nerds attractive.
4) My physics professor was my idol in college.
5) I live alone with two cats, and I know how to sew.
6) My mom gave me all her old Donovan records, and I LOVE them.

That's all I can think of right now...but you get the point.

(I hope someday someone reads my blog. I feel kinda silly writing all this nonsense just for myself.)

Tonight for dinner I ate a veggie burger with chop sticks. I don't know if that qualifies as nerdy or creative.

-LUCCY

"Philosophy is not a theory but an action." -Burtrand Russell

What does philosophy have to do with time travel? Quiet a bit...simple because Russell has to clarify that philosophy is not a theory implies that it can be confused with an intangible theory. The same is true for time travel. Using quantum physics, Steven Hawkin provided enough logical and theoretical evidence that time travel is a valid possibility. Think about that silly philosophy major...he or she goes to college to study philosophy, but what does one do with a philosophy degree? He could write about what he's learned I guess. Or he could become something that has nothing to do with philosophy. Or, best of all, he could become a teacher or professor. Philosophy majors need to learn about philosophy from somewhere. So the students go to class and become bombarded with stimulating ideas, intimidating debates, and inapplicable concepts. Philosophy becomes a theory to them; something to make them sound intellectual when they talk. From what I've seen, a philosophy student is someone who drives others mad with his or her rants or someone who drives him or herself mad with personal doubt and questionings. Its almost like the student is let down by his or her own pursuit for the "truth" or lack-there-of. When I read A Brief History of Time I became obsessed with the fact that time travel was a possibility. But I was let down, just like the philosophy major, when I realized Hawkin is talking about a theory, not an action. But then again, I read things I've written not three months ago about how much I hated my life. But its only taken a short time to learn new ideas, new concepts, theories, and philosophies about life, and I am beginning to see that when I learn new things and apply that my life is affected. For instance, I watched Donnie Darko again for the 100th time the other day, and I started thinking about the philosophy of time travel. I love the part where Donnie sees that strange liquid flowing from people's chests. It makes perfect sense: we are driven by something. I don't know if it looks like a strange metallic liquid, but I think it has something to do with a person's qi. And when we repress what our natural qi wants us to do, we become sick or depressed. Its simple really...think about how unhappy people become when they are in situations they don't want to be in. For example someone who goes to a Christian school, but does not embrace Christianity as truth. Or someone who is married and hates every minute of it. Or people who is work jobs they hate. These are the people who are depressed and angry because they repress what their qi tells them to do. I am learning to follow my intuitions for this reason. Trusting for one moment to do what I feel not because of any logical evidence or explanation, just because its what I feel needs to happen and not making so my plans and decisions too far in advance, being able to roll with the punches, make lemonade out of the lemons I'm handed, being spontaneous. My brother is getting married in two weeks and his fiance is going to drive herself mad with all the wedding plans and her inability to make decisions. Its just not how qi flows, or at least how mine flows. The world is constantly changing and I never know what's going to happen next. Like this weekend for example… I had a party on Friday night and stayed up until like four or five in the morning talking with Anne and creating this blog. The next morning I got up about ten and went to Mona's for breakfast and to see my friend Collin. Then I drove to Breck for my best friend from high school's wedding. Then I had dinner with my boy Scott in Frisco and drove back to D town to see devotchka play at Benders. On Sunday I did six loads of laundry at the laundry mat, studied with my Buddy at Oh my Goddess where I met Kaywin. Then I spent the afternoon with my other buddies longboarding in city park. That night I drove back to Frisco to see about that boy. And today we slept in until 11:30 and did lots of nothing all afternoon. I was going to go see a show with Anne tonight, but it was sold out (I think) and I was tired. What a weekend!!! And the only time I was really stressed was before my party because I had been planning it for a while. Everything else was pretty much a spontaneous decision. What do I need to do at this moment? Am I content with where I am and what I am doing? Am I following my qi wherever it leads me........................? What about YOU???

pink wedding

gravity does not apply to me

whatever I am doing right now

Luccy is offically even more of a nerd than five minutes ago.